Fighting the Lunch Lady Man

My son received a Notice of Misbehavior this past Friday. The three part NCR form read that "D--- was bothering other students at lunch."

Before I morphed into Mama Bear, I questioned my son to try to figure out what he had done. Lunch lady or teacher on duty (who knows!) used the verb "bothering" which is so ridiculously imprecise! What am I supposed to do with a five year old who isn't sure how he was bothering anyone.

I wrote on the slip of misbehavior that I needed to know exactly what my son did in order to deal with it at home.

Here is the email exchange from today. I've cut and pasted the emails into chronological order. And eliminated names because the internet is like the wild, wild west.

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On Jan 26, 2009, at 12:02 PM, Kindergarten Teacher wrote:

Good morning,

I asked Mrs. Bothering what occurred during lunch. She said that “D-- was talking with another student from my class while leaning across the table. She asked both students to stop the behavior but the behavior continued”. Both students received a Pink Slip for that incident.

I know that on this day we had rainy day schedule, which means that the students stay in the cafeteria during their lunch period watching a movie. I know how difficult it is for Kinders to stay quiet during a long period of time, but unfortunately, we have a no talking zone in the cafeteria and the students are only allowed to whisper.

I hope this information helps.

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From: tara incognita
Sent: Monday, January 26, 2009 3:14 PM
To: Kindergarten Teacher
Subject: Re: Notification of Misbehavior

Thank you for letting me know. I really appreciate the details. I'm sure that you can understand my frustration with such a vague word like bother. Bothering can take on so many forms. It is hard as a parent to discuss it with my child when he is struggling to know how he bothered someone. From the details, it seemed as if no "bothering" was occurring. Just two restless kids chatting when they were told not to. This is completely different from bothering in my opinion. No wonder he was confused about how he received the slip.

I agree that it is unfortunate that there is a no talking zone in the cafeteria. No only is it antithetical to the goal of school, but it instills poor eating habits that may contribute to rising rates of obesity in this country. Perhaps those in charge should pick up some research on eating habits and how eliminating the social conversation while eating helps contribute to the rising tide of obesity.

Please don't get me wrong. I want my son to follow the rules, but I also want the schools to act in the better interest of the developing child. My son is very loquacious, social, and kinesthetic. These are not bad attributes to have under other circumstances, but somehow in school--normal boy behavior is seen as defective.

I'm just venting. Please don't misunderstand me. I want my son to behave.

Thanks again!

I do appreciate how you seem to be aware of the developmental needs of the child even if the school policies do not.

tara incognita
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Later that same hour, Kindergarten Teacher responds:

I totally agree with you. Believe me, I did try to let the school know that a Kindergarten student attention span is about 5 minutes and then it is time to stretch, talk, do what ever it takes to get them back to focus. No one cared to listen to me! I have had a staff member’s son who is in my class been given several red slips. It is unfortunate that this is happening.

I am glad that you understand your son’s personally, and that you are willing to help him at home.

Thanks,
Kindergarten Teacher


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Mama Bear wants to fight the man so that kids can TALK AT LUNCH!