A Proper British Influence

My son is struggling to behave in Kindergarten. Kindergarten is a little bit fascist these days, so I am sympathetic to his outbursts, but I have to be the good parent and encourage proper suburban behavior.

My son's teacher does not have children of her own. This is a strike against her credibility in my eyes.

In our email discussions, she brings up the following:

I know he also likes to watch Sponge Bob. An alternative to Sponge Bob would be Kipper. I don’t know if you have heard of it but Kindergartners love the series. Kipper is a very polite English dog that teaches children about friendship skills, good behavior, among many other things. Perhaps you could research more about it and try it with him. It could become one of his incentives for good behavior.

I find this freaking hilarious. We don't believe in "very polite English dogs" here. We value things like Monty Python and Eddie Izzard. We value dry senses of humor and self-deprecation. Paddington Bear is not our style. Neither is Kipper--the poor man's Paddington bear.

But in all seriousness, she is trying to be nice about the whole thing. I can't blame her. If I taught 20 kids that age, I'd want them zoned out in a blissful ignorant contemplation of all things Kipper as well. It would probably make them easier to control.